Haunting words.

Party at the house. BYODA... bring your own drugs and alcohol. More and more people start to show up. Already fucked up before anyone shows up. Heroine tonight, compliments of having the party at our place. On the couch, someone taps my shoulder, I'm drooling. Look up, Josh. Come to the bedroom. Ok. You look down, you need to cheer up. Line of coke. Ok. Heart is pounding, can feel it all over my body. Beer pong? Sure. Shot one. Missed. Josh makes it. They drink. They make it, I drink. And drink. And drink. Game lost. Shot of Hennessey? Sure. Another? Nah. Hazy now. Lamp breaks. Pissed. Yelling. Josh says shut up. In the room, door locked. Need to get away from the craziness. Josh pounding on the door. So fucked up. Black.

Wake up. So sick. Need something. Rail some percocet. Unlock the door. Walk out. Few people left at the house. "Closin time buddies". They leave. Thanks. Josh looks up. Bitch. Fuck you. Go to the kitchen. Haven't eaten anything in two days. Kind of hungry. Will probably throw up but oh well. Boil water for top ramen. Sick now. Go to the bathroom, throw up. Damn. Splash cold water on my face. Feel nothing. Weird. Can't feel cold anymore. Oh well.

Back to kitchen. Noodles added. How many packages did you put in? None. Obviously you did if there are fucking noodles in the pot. Didn't put in any seasoning. That's not what I fucking asked Josh. Don't be a cunt. Don't touch my food. Don't touch my drugs anymore. My drugs too asshole. Slam. Up against a wall now. Put me the fuck down. Who's drugs? Put me down. Who's fucking drugs?! Mine. Bam. Cheek on fire. Hot tears down face. Salty taste in mouth. Cry, bitch, now who's drugs? Yours. Back on feet.

Slap. Don't hit me again asshole. You really want to touch me bitch? I hate you. The feeling is mutual. I'm leaving you. And where will you go? My dad's. You leave me and I'll fucking kill myself. You keep saying that but you never do anything. Because you always stay. That's about to change.

Go to the room. Put some clothes into a bag. Grab some money. Grab some pills. Grab a cigarette. Go back out to living room. Gun in Joshes hand. Point to head. Idiot. I have the bullets. Hand to throat. Don't touch my shit ever again. Don't be stupid. You leave and I swear to God I'll do it. Yeah, whatever. Tell me you don't love me. Fine, I don't love you. Yes, you do. No, I don't. I know you do. Whatever. Hit me one more time. Slap across the face. You're a bitch. I know. I'm going to jump off of a fucking bridge. Front door slams. He's gone.

Calling. No answer. Worried now. Ok to drive? Kind of. In truck. Light a cigarette. Inhale. Can't feel it. Weird. Driving. Stop sign. Almost missed it. Oops. Calling again. No answer. Fuck, fuck, fuck. See Andrew at AM/PM. Stop to say hi. Seen Josh walking around? No. Police sirens. Going around the corner, towards the bridge. Heart drops. Sick again. Throwing up again.

Back in truck. Driving towards bridge. Cops on the bridge. Lots of them. Holy shit. This is not happening. Park the truck. Afraid to get out. Hate cops. Still fucked up. Josh. Have to know about Josh. Open the door slowly. Get out. Walk on the bridge. Look over. Even more cops. And ambulances. Oh my God. Please no. Please no. Please no. Run to the cop. What happened?! Did he jump? Oh my God, did he jump? Please no. Cop is young. Looks at me. Doesn't say anything. Oh God, he jumped. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Different cop comes up to me. Ma'am, what is your name? DID A GODDAMN PERSON JUMP OR NOT?! What do you know, ma'am. What is his name? Oh God... he jumped. Pain. Black. Wake up. Knees bleeding. What happened? Fell to the concrete. Ouch. Hands bleeding too. Ma'am, are you alright? Is he ok? Don't fucking worry about me, is he ok?! I'm going to need some information from you before you get any information from us. Ok. Who are you? His girlfriend. What is your name? Reagan Lausche. What is his name? Josh Reynolds. Home phone number? IS HE OKAY?! He has a heartbeat, but it's very faint. Oh God... Oh God... Oh God... please no. We need to contact his parents, do you have the number? Yes, give it to them. Would you like us to contact someone for you? My mom, give them the number. Lay on the cool pavement. Sick again. Throw up again. Are you alright ma'am? Just leave me the fuck alone. Crying hard. Can't breathe. He has a heartbeat. He's strong. He will be okay. I see my mom. I get up. Ouch. I fall into her arms. Oh, baby, what happened? I don't know, I don't fucking knowwwwww. The ambulance is leaving now ma'am, would you like us or your mother to escort you to the hospital? My mom. In the car. Crying still.

At the hospital. We need someone to identify him. I can. Mom says no, baby, you don't want to see him right now. Shut the fuck up mom, I can do it. Relationship? Girlfriend. Immediate family only. Are his parents on their way? I don't know. Waiting. Crying. Feels like I can't breathe. Convinced heart is stopping, too broken. Please be ok. Please, please, please. Josh's parents. Crying as well. Jerry hugs me. What happened? I don't know. Are you the parents? Yes. We're going to need someone to identify him. Jerry walks to through the doors. Is he ok? I'm not sure, ma'am. Waiting again. He'll be okay. He had a heartbeat. It's fine. Maureen grabs my hand. Waiting. Just waiting.

Jerry walks through the doors. No emotion on his face. Can't tell. First words. Josh is dead. Oh God, no. This isn't happening. Please no. On the ground. Screaming. Crying. NO. No, baby, no. Please come back, come fucking back. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I take it back. Oh God, no, no, no. I feel hands. Jerry and my mom. Lifting me. In Jerry's arms. To the car. Oh God, please Jerry, no. Puts me in the car. His tears are on me. Josh is dead. Josh is dead. Josh is dead. Haunting words.