68 days clean!

After almost 2 years of being numb due to drugs, I now have 68 days of feeling! It's been hard, but not as hard as I anticipated it being. The withdrawals were the worst part pretty much! It's weird though, feeling all of the sudden. Being numb definitely has it's advantages; I didn't have to feel any pain. Even though I have to deal with all of the pain now... I'm also laughing and smiling now, building back up relationships with my friends and family that I destroyed because I was using, developing new relationships with people that are positive in my life, and noticing things about life that I would have never noticed if I were high. The other day I was walking down the street and I saw this cute little black and white kitten bouncing around in a meadow, chasing after this butterfly and I just stopped and watched it happen, it's been a long time since I just stopped and watch something so simple and realized how simply beautiful life can be. And I'm jogging again now. I used to be a really active person before drugs; the adrenaline that I got after jogging was a good enough high for me. I jogged down to the river dock the night before last and just sat on a bench listening to music on my Zune for like an hour, watching the boats go past and the lights from Canada right across the water. It was freezing cold down there, but I loved the feeling of being cold, kind of tingly. Oh! And speaking of music, I'm starting to get back in to it again, yay. I absolutely love music... but when I was using the only thing that really mattered was getting high, so the music kind of stopped for me, I didn't pay attention to it when I had it on anyways. But I've been starting to go through my old collection, and it's like I'm falling in love all over again, it's great! My friend Kyle has been sending me some new songs and suggesting some new bands for me to listen to, and for the most part it's really good stuff, not all of it though haha. And I love not liking some of it... because that means that I'm actually paying attention enough to have an opinion, which is another thing that you loose when you start using like I was. You just stop caring. I care again, woo me!